I get on the computer almost every day, but I never post anything because I'm too lazy to download my pictures from my camera. But not today. . .
The last 2 weeks Sara's been taking swimming lessons over at the AF pool. Day #1 was great. She did everything her teacher asked and was so happy and excited to be in the water.
Day #2--Still great, although her teacher asked her to put her head under water and she wasn't too keen on that.
Day #3--Wouldn't get in the water. I had to threaten that we wouldn't go swimming for the rest of the summer if she didn't get in the pool. And then, after she was in the water, she refused flat out, with tears, to to anything that involved getting her face wet.
Day #4--Yikes!!! I had bought her some gum before we went to the pool as a little bribe, because I knew I was in for a hard time with her on this day. So she was all excited to get a piece of cotton candy bubble gum if she had no crying, got in the water, and did everything her teacher asked. No biggie, right? We went over the requirements several times and she was willing to do it all. Until we got right next to the pool and it was time for her to hop in. Oh, the tears, and the screams, and the horribleness of my sweet child! I was upset, no, UPSET!! I told her if she didn't get in the water, we would leave. I asked if she wanted to get in. She shook her head no, so we headed out. Me, pushing an angry Aaron in his stroller, and her chasing behind, screaming as loud as she could. We finally got to the parking lot and I asked her again about getting in the water. She said, "I want to learn how to swim!!" Then we walked all the way back through the rec center, through the ladies locker room and up to the side of the pool, and again the tears and the screams. I was done. I marched us out of there as fast as I could. I felt like every mom (and dad) who was in the place was staring at me. When we got back to the car, I had some very angry words and I was not at all sympathetic to her plight. Oh yeah, when she asked what I was going to do with the gum, I took it out of my bag and gave it to some other kids. I was determined that we would NOT be coming back and trying again.
Thanks to my wise sister, I calmed down a bit and decided to try back the next day. Than, Sara, and I even practiced bobbing our heads under the water in our hot tub that night. I had to get more treats for bribes, but days 5 through 8 of swimming lessons went so much better. On day #5 there were still a few tears at the beginning, but by the end of the class, she was beaming.
Today was the last day, day #8, and as she skipped to the pool she said, "I am so excited!!" She still doesn't want to bob her head under the water, but she did everything else that her teacher wanted. I am so happy that it's all over for this summer.
Today, as I think about the whole ordeal, I realize that I was all wrong. I should have been understanding of her fear and used less angry words and more sympathy. At the end, she learned how to face her fear, but it was also a learning experience for me. This parenting stuff is hard work. I think I've got such a sweet little girl, but we have these days where we fight like two 4-year-olds. But I can say the bad days are really few and far between. I'm glad that each day is a new opportunity for us to make some good memories.
5 comments:
We've all been there Veena! That's the only advice I had for my sister who just got married, no one knows what the heck they're doing! Way to hang in there and try and learn something from it. Good for Sarah for getting back in the pool and facing her fears. I'll think of you the next time Maci's flying off the handle! and try and remain calm :)
That is hilarious Veena! I know that sounds horrible but I am so glad to know that other people have the same humiliating parental experience I have too! Next summer she'll be a veteran champ!
Oh Veena (sigh). I SOOOOOOO know how you felt! You are not alone! The guilt at the end is the worst, isn't it? I think these kind of freak outs get us ready for the teenage years, YIKES! Great bribes by the way!
We had Taj take swim lessons when he was 18 months old, because we lived by the beach and I figured he'd be a natural fish...WRONG. Not as fun as I'd hoped it would be. I decided not to have him go back to lessons until he is about...18. But after your inspiring story, maybe we'll try earlier--say, 17. :)
Oh Veena. If only I could see the bright spot and learn from all my angry days. I too often get filled with that righteous indignation and, well, generally act like a four year old.
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